First-Generation Greek-American Jokes Humor

If you were offended by the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" then this page of Greek American jokes and humor is not for you. If, on the other hand, you sat in a crowded theatre and noticed that there were two waves of laughter for each joke; one before the punch line from those of us raised as First-Generation Greek-Americans (we knew what was coming next and laughed in anticipation); and the second after the punch line from everyone else, you will most likely get a laugh or two here.

You know you are a First-Generation Greek-American if...

• You know you're Greek when any pasta dish is called 'lasagna'. from Haralobos M. in New York
• When YiaYia cannot forget the vistor at the Greek festival who requested butter-free pastries. from Diana G. in Connecticut
• During a birthday party, your house is split into two parts. The Americans who talk about politics, and the greeks who talk about who yaiyais favorite is/was. from Metaxia C. in Maryland
• You get a frantic phone call to "come over right away because some important mail from the bank was sent" and when you get there it is yet another credit card solicitation! from Jennie H. in New York
• You have to put electrical tape over all the buttons on a remote except for the 3 they should only be touching. from jennie in New York
• Do your Americans friends ask why Greek Easter is a week later or more? Short answer: We plan it this way to get candy half price the next day! Or, 'cause candy is half price on Monday. from John P. in Ohio
• Did you know the Greeks discovered and named Oklahoma? They were so happy, they got down on their hands and knees, picked up some dirt and said, "oh, kalo to homa, oh kalo to homa." So this morphed into OKLAHOMA! Submitted by Mr. F. Haristoh & T. Kala from Yavvis P. in Ohio
• When you go to Greece with one small suitcase and come back with 2 giant suitcases filled with oregano and olive oil for the whole family. from kostantinos in Illinois
• Greek names : Mona Hitis, Sue Flaki, Pano Stobanyo, Lou Kaniko, Lou Loudi, Mimi Perazis, Mimi Kratas, Pano Exo, Pano Kato, Pano Pano, Pano Stodomatio, Lou Kouma...there's 100's more ! Did your Yiayia ever ask you if you wanted a "hadokakee" with "moostsarda" or "katchopee" ? And a "congakola" ? from John P. in Ohio
• When you had an ear ache, your Yiayia put a clove of garlic behind your ear. And it cured it ! from John P. in Ohio
• You know you're greek when you consider "my big fat greek wedding" a non fiction documentary. from Anna in Illinois
• Your mother expects you to be like every other "Nikogiroula" in the world. from Vicki D. in Maryland
• You get hurt playing as a kid and fall down scrapping your knee. Your mom says I told you not to run fast and hands you a napkin and peroxide. from Mike T. in Pennsylvania
• Your parents pronounce Sandy as Cindy and Cindy as Sandy, and Homefries as Combfries. from Mike T. in Pennsylvania
• You know you're Greek when you wake up in the middle of the night and pull out a litre bottle to drink some water, and find out it's actually tsipouro! from Vasiliki T. in New Jersey
• The waiting room at the hospital was filled with all your relatives, koumbari and friends yet the hospital only permitted 3 visitors per patient. All your visitors managed to sneak in using other patients names and claiming they were related. from Bessie in California
• Your Yiayia gets very upset when you do not return the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" plastic containers she sends to you with food in them. from Anonymous in District of Columbia
• Went to doctor for hemorrhoids. Said rub greek coffee grinds on it. Next visit in pain at doctor. He says bend over. He looks says I see you are going on a trip in your future. from Maria P. in Florida
• Your Grandfather Who Came Over On The Boat At Ellis Island, Calls Your Sister Patsy, "Pepsi" from Basilio P. in California
• You go to a bachelor party for your cousin and when the waitress announces she has a phone call for Constantine, half the room stands up! from Constantine V. in Connecticut
• You feel guilty that whenever someone comes to your house, even if it's a repairman, you don't have a table filled with fruit and pastries and insist on him sitting down to eat, like your mitera/yiayia always did. from Argyro D. in California
• You are surprised when you learn that not every recipe begins with one half pound of melted butter. from George K. in Florida
• Your parents drove the long way home from church so they could stop along the highway to pick xorta (χόρτα) for lunch. from Mary V. in California
• You are surprised to find your Greek cousins don't understand basic everyday Greek words. Box-ee, Fridigederi, Bang-a, Car-oh, Basee-mo, bicingla, yar-tha. Don't they have those things over there? from George K. in Florida
• You find out the soup you had for lunch is really called "lentil soup." You find out cupaki, stampa, and frigereta are not greek words. When going to the airport to pick up yiayia requires the entire extended family even the kumbari. from Sylvia A. in New Hampshire
• almost all your uncles are named George. from Vicky in Montana
• If you didn't come fast enough when called your Mother or Grandmother would threaten and then throw a slipper at you. from Phillip in California
• You forgot to add the names Yorgo/George to the male relatives that EVERY family has. from Richard in Illinois

Submitted Anonymously

• You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral...or their entire life!
• You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced "sangwich."
• You ate peaches and yogurt long before "fruit at the bottom" became popular.
• "Straaumbeeries" was your favorite fruit.
• Your family dog understood Greek.
• Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
• You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout.
• You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals day, not seven.
• You thought killing the lamb each year and having feta, tsatsiki and olives on your dinner table was absolutely normal.
• You were teased by your classmates for bring Easter eggs to school a month after Easter. Aren't they rotten yet?
• You grew up thinking no fruit or vegetable had a fixed price and that the price of everything was negotiable through haggling.
• You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
• You thought everyone's last name ended in a "is".
• You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
• Your mom's main hobby is cleaning.
• You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
• You never knew what to expect when you opened the margarine, after all you thought washing out and reusing margarine containers was normal.
• You thought Orthodoxy was the only religion in the world.
• You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your left hand.
• Your grandmother never threw anything away. You thought seeing washed plastic bags hanging on the clothes line was normal.
• You learned to play backgammon before you went to school.
• You have at least one relative who came over "on the boat" from "the old country."
• You have at least six male relatives named Nick, John, Peter or Kosta.
• You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
• You drank wine before you were a teenager.
• You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
• You thought that talking loud was normal.
• You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
• Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
• There was an icon in every room of the house, including the bathroom.

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